Blurry
by isadora quagmire
Summary: Sirius Black's POV on October 31, 1980


Disclaimer: I don't own harry potter or the song blurry! If I did, I would  
be a rich old snob with no time for fanfic!  
  
Blurry  
  
Everything's so blurry  
  
and everyone's so fake  
  
everybody's empty  
  
and everything is so messed up  
  
preoccupied without you  
  
I cannot live at all  
  
my whole world surrounds you  
  
I stumble and I crawl  
  
October 31st had been a lonely day for Sirius Black. He had to, he figured, get used to not having company. After all, when one of your friends is in hiding, another a secret keeper, and the other the top suspect on your list, you would have lonely days.  
  
'Poor James,' he thought. That prophecy had made things harder for him. He had to protect his child, as advised by Dumbledore.  
  
and you could be my someone  
  
you can be my scene  
  
you know that I'll protect you  
  
from all of the obscene  
  
I wonder what your doing  
  
imagine where you are  
  
there's oceans in between us  
  
but that's not very far  
  
Sirus lowered his head. Wormtail was now burdened with the role of secret keeper. This brilliant plan of Sirius' caused many arguments between James and himself. Finally, Prongs gave in. Sirius would be a decoy. Peter would take the responsibility of secret keeper. 'Speaking of Peter,' Sirius thought, 'I better go check on him.' Sirius mounted his motorbike and took off into the sky, fallen leaves swirling behind him.  
  
can you take it all away  
  
can you take it all away  
  
well you shoved it in my face  
  
this pain you gave to me  
  
can you take it all away  
  
can you take it all away  
  
well you shoved it in my face  
  
this pain you gave to me  
  
The moon glowed brightly in the brisk October night. 'Moony,' Sirius thought. His werewolf friend should be done recovering from his transformation at the beginning of the month. Sirius shook his head. Moony, one of his best friends, was on top of his suspect list. Moony had to be the spy.  
  
Sirius landed in front of Peter's house. His heart stopped. The door was open.  
  
everyone is changing  
  
there's no one left that's real  
  
make up your own ending  
  
and let me know just how you feel  
  
Sirius ran inside. "Peter!" he called, "Wormtail!" He ran to the kitchen. The fridge and cabinets were wide open. And empty. Peter always had food.  
  
He entered Peter's room. The sheets were neatly folded. There was no sign of struggle anywhere in the house. Sirius had been wrong. "Forgive me, Moony," he cried. Running into the front yard, he mounted his bike and took off, his heart racing.  
  
Sirius landed in Godric's Hollow. The smell of smoke and a baby's cry greeted him. "No," he whispered, "no." He walked towards the house.  
  
cause I am lost without you  
  
I cannot live at all  
  
my whole world surrounds you  
  
I stumble then I crawl  
  
Lily and James Potter lay lifeless in the rubble. Sirius bent down. "James," he whispered, touching his friend's startled face. "Why," he demanded, "why did this have to happen? How could I be so stupid? It's all my fault. I promise you James; I'll look after my godson. I swear to it. It'll be the first thing I do right in my life. I'm sorry." A silent tear rolled down his cheek as he took off James' glasses.  
  
you could be my someone  
  
you can be my scene  
  
you know that I will save you  
  
from all of the unclean  
  
I wonder what your doing  
  
I wonder where you are  
  
there's oceans in between us  
  
but that's not very far  
  
Sirius walked over to James' wife. "Lily," he whispered, brushing her brilliant red hair out of her vacant green eyes, "I'm sorry. You're right. I am a stubborn git. It's my fault. It's all my fault. I wish I hadn't come up with that 'brilliant idea' of mine. I wish I agreed to be your secret keeper. I would have died for you. I'll help Harry, I promise." Kissing her cheek, Sirius got up and wept openly.  
  
Can you take it all away  
  
Can you take it all away  
  
well you shoved it in my face  
  
the pain you gave to me  
  
Sirius walked over to the bundle of blankets in the corner. "Harry," he whispered. Sirius' eyes strayed to Harry's forehead. A lighting bolt- shaped scar was imprinted upon his head. His godson stopped crying as Sirius picked him up. "I will protect you, Harry. Believe me, it will be hard to look at you. You look so much like James, just with Lily's eyes. I just wish I could do more. I swear, Harry, I will protect you, even if it means with my life."  
  
Nobody told me what you thought  
  
nobody told me what to say  
  
everyone showed you where to turn  
  
showed you when to run away  
  
nobody showed you where to hide  
  
nobody told you what to say  
  
everyone showed you where to turn  
  
showed you when to run away  
  
"Sirius," a husky voice called. Sirius jumped.  
  
"Hagrid?"  
  
"Come 'ere Sirius," said Hagrid. Sirius walked over to him, breaking down into tears. "'S alright," he said, patting Sirius' back. "I 'ave a favor to ask, if ya don' mind. Dumbledore 'ill be wantin me ter bring Harry to him."  
  
"Let me take him," Sirius said through sobs, "I'm his godfather; I promised James I'd look after him."  
  
"Dumbledore's orders, Sirius,"  
  
Sirius sighed. "Alright Hagrid. Take Harry." He kissed Harry's head and started to walk away. "Oh, Hagrid," he called back, "Take my motorbike, I won't be needing it anymore." With that, Sirius walked away with one thing in mind. He decided to pay Wormtail a little visit.  
  
Can you take it all away  
  
can you take it all away  
  
can you take away the pain  
  
the pain you gave to me  
  
this pain you gave to me 


End file.
